The Worst Movie I've Seen This Year

Unfortunately I have two movies that spring to mind when I was given this suggestion:

Review the worst movie you've seen this year.

The first is The Ugly Truth with Whatserface and That Bloke who always seem to be in these awful movies. Normally I would have steered clear of something like this a14% on the tomatometer!!, but occasionally I have to watch a romantic comedy so that my wife will keep watching SciFi with me.

Bleh

What a dreadful movie. I'm not sure there's much to be said beyond that.

The second was Surrogates with Bruce Willis. I had heard it wasn't fantastic, but the idea behind it intrigued me: what if everyone lived their lives virtually through robot simulacrum bthanks P.K. Dick for that word!?

Bruce Willis: Bored.

The movie's conceit is ridiculous in execution though, with almost the entire world having chosen to live in little pods that feed sensory input from their virtual bodies back to them. I cannot imagine anyone but the elite and a select few ever going for it. The movie world is one where doctors no longer espouse the benefits of sunlight or fresh air, where muscles don't atrophy from under-use, and the technology is so good that no one misses reality.

Except Bruce Willis of course.

He has that same sort of bemused look he has in every film. Except in this one it doesn't suit. I also recently re-watched 12 Monkeys and the man can act, but when the script is bad, he just spends the entire film with a little half-smirk like he knows something the director doesn't. Well his character hates his virtual life for some reason. He's a cop put on the trail of a man with technology to kill someone through the surrogate. There's all sorts of interesting questions that this raises cone of which is WFT?, but none of them are really explored or adequately covered.

Which is the essence of this film really. The premise is interesting, but the execution is flawed. About half way in the movie starts showing all its cards until there are no surprises by the end. None of the characters are "real", so you don't care about them in any way. The technology is so magical you just cannot believe any of it.

The final indication that this was not a good film came about 2 minutes after Bruce Willis saved the entire planet dfrom themselves... and my wife woke up. Oh how I envied her.

Cheers Zombie_Plan. Hope it was good for you too...

Asides   [ + ]

a. 14% on the tomatometer!!
b. thanks P.K. Dick for that word!
c. one of which is WFT?
d. from themselves...

To @brizzly @tweetie @seesmic @echofon: Add this feature and I will have your babies.

Heart/Toxic
An example of my proposal

I don't want a separate app where I have to gather all my friends and influencers in one place all over again - I have that in Twitter.

What I want from you is a way to flag a user (secretly) as someone whose opinion has aligned with mine in the past, so that when they say "I love this new movie", I'll be reasonably certain that I will too. And if I could flag someone's opinion as wrongathat's what we're all thinking right? most of the time, then I will know that when they say "I love this song", not to bother clicking through to it. It might mean that some of the users in my stream have slightly darker or lighter updates so I can tell at a glance which ones I've flagged as trustworthy or mostly wrong.

Heck, just being able to easily see that someone is in a "trusted" private Twitter list with a glance at my main stream would be double handy. Do that.

Thank you for listening. If you do this, you will win the world.

PS. to all the people I follow: I'm not talking about any of you. I think all of you have fantastic taste. It's those other people I worry about...

Asides   [ + ]

a. that's what we're all thinking right?

So I get it the first time next time:

Why don't I just learn, once and for all... if I've not seen someone in ages, and want to talk and hang out and drink... DON'T GO TO A MOVIE. Unless the movie is the greatest movie ever, I'll just be disappointed.

Stupid life doesn't have do-overs if you do it wrong the first time.

Hercules Returns Returns!

Yippee! My biggest Christmas present so far has been finally getting a copy of Hercules Returns on DVD. For those of you who don't know why I'm so excited, check out my previous post on Hercules Returns

A classic Australian film featuring the talent of the wonderful Des Mangan and Sally Patience (and those other three who somehow get all the credit) has finally been made available legitimately on DVD.

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Batman as you’ve never seen him.

I want to share one of my favourite things with you. Superheroes. Actually I want to share a few of my favourite things - Superheroes, old crappy movies, and animated GIFs of people doing amusing things.

Check this out:


The Dynamic Duo
Check the pointy ears

Yes, that is supposed to be Batman. Nice eh?

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Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest or "How to wow and annoy an audience all at once"

Went to see above-mentioned film on the weekend. First off let me take the opportunity to say, "Shove over d#@-head!". The session I went to was the biggest of the 30 screens on offer, but it was still overcrowded. Which wouldn't make me annoyed (well not in the same self-righteous sort of way) except that each group of people decided that everyone that didn't belong to their little group was smelly or evil and left one seat between them and the next group of xenophobes.

So my friend and I were forced to split up and sit either side of one fat guy with a B.O. problem... no, I'm fibbing - we had to sit in the second row.

Thus begins the discussion of "Pirates of the Caribbean", starring Orlando Bloom's Nostrils, Johnny Depp's Mascara, and Keira Knightley's... pores. Don't get me wrong - they're beautiful pores (actually I will say this for the film - when you're looking up at the pores of a real person and a CG character and they're equally as detailed - it's good CG), but no one should be forced to critically analyse an actor's skin because of another person's ignorance.

So on to the movie.

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