My Faith and My Religion

I have lot of concerned and loving people in my life who have come to my site hoping to get an insight into my life and how I am handling the pressures of an ill wife, and the gradual erosion of my faith. It is an easier thing to be able to say "check out my website", than to speak about things face to face, partly because when I do I find it difficult to explain what I mean when I say that I need proof of God's existence.

It's also easier to respond to the gist of a series of comments in one post than to answer each one, because the irrational part of my brain wants to argue with everyone, and say I am right and you are wrong and start something akin to a Christian/atheist debate, where neither gives ground and each argument makes the other side more convinced they are right.

Instead, I wanted to clarify a bit what I've said in earlier posts about my faith, and why I feel I need proof of God's existence.


Gmail Easter Egg

Ok, originally I thought this was just a goofy co-incidence.

Amusing Gmail 'spam' news clippings
SPAM Recipies!

Gmail's spam mailbox has spam recipes up the top when you have web clips enabled! I thought it might be just their advertising seeping into inappropriate areas, but now I think they're actually having a little joke about spam!

Games and the Meaning of the Universe

Ever heard of a Game called Whizz Ball? There was a game that I played on my Commodore 64 that was frickin' awesome called Wizball - the game I am talking about isn't that game. This game is kind of like that old 'Mouse Trap' game where you build a complicated mechanism to get a ball from a starting point to an end goal. But this is a 'kids' game that has been commandeered by a lot of much older people who have used the game's inbuilt level editor to make a whole bunch of extra levels. Levels that they subsequently label 'very hard'. That is to say, levels for kids are few and far between. When I started, I picked out a few easy and medium levels, and found the ones I tried to be fairly simple - a matter of finding pieces that fit the holes on the game board. A few of the harder levels got me thinking beyond this simple matching game. I found I had to start at the end point and kind of work backwards towards the beginning, working out which piece would take my ball to the previous piece I laid.


Web Crazies

Why are websites by crazy people so damn ugly? So many websites about conspiracies and aliens are just shockingly ugly to look at. Like 2012 Unlimited, or the previously mentioned David Icke. I couldn't find it, but there is another website that watches the movements of the Lizard Men... Damn appalling website design.

Maybe these people aren't very good at graphic design. Personally, I understand (templates for me baby), but why not just rip off someone else's design like the rest of the Internet world? It's not helping you seem believable when your site looks worse than sites I created in 1995. Use some CSS, ditch that appalling repeating background squiggle. Stop listing your content centred down the screen in bright orange fonts. And please stop turning whole paragraphs into links!

Look, it's hard enough to be taken seriously these days, when anyone can publish their opinions about any old crap, but to throw away what tiny amount of credibility you have for the sake of keeping a few animated GIFs is suicide.

Please, hire a designer. Take a class. Read a book. Look at other websites. Make your websites prettier... Or I won't read them any more.

Yay, Coolest Feeling Ever!

I got my first comment today by a non-friend non-family member. Can't tell if it's just spam or not though, and I'll delete it soon (partly cause Mil's not happy with it).

It got me checking my site statistics though, and I actually get visitors! It's a very good feeling for someone who thought he'd never be read. Ever.


Faith v Religion

This is the station that my train-of-thought has taken me. Join me here and I will fill you in on where I've been:

Firstly, I read a short story by science fiction author Harry Harrison. Some of the best science fiction will provoke discussion, and this story certainly provoked me to discussion (with myself). In 'The Streets of Ashkelon', an alien race (of the noble savage type) is visited by a Priest and a Trader (just a regular guy). The end result of the story is that in trying to understand what the Priest is teaching, the natives sin - spoiling their natural 'purity'.

Now the argument of the aliens is that belief in God needs proof. Proof He exists, that He cares, that He is watching. And the priest gives the regular arguments that tend to be given by fictional characters in these situations. That "creation is proof" but that "belief needs no proof - if you have faith". These arguments are not the point of this post. Better and smarter people whom I admire have argued both sides for longer than I have lived.

What got me thinking though was the insistence of the aliens that they needed proof. For many years I didn't think I needed proof, for much the same simple reasons that the Priest gave. And for years I had the conflicting idea that I had the proof I needed anyway if anyone should ask - creation. The reason that this idea conflicts is that the proof was really for me. I never felt comfortable with blind faith - although the idea that anything but blind faith produces a sort of logical loop never occurred to me. That is, the two statements cancel each other out: by saying that 'Creation is proof', but that 'Faith shouldn't need proof' you are fudging things a little.


Happy New Year

Hope you all had a great 2005. I had an average year, with some really great things, like being given a job at a great place I love to work, and some not so great things. At Christmas lunch with the family I was made to score my year, and I gave it a P1 (pass).

Rules if you want to grade your year:
  • no separate grades for areas of your life. Must be one overall grade.
  • no fluffing about.
Mil gave hers a pass (P2). No one Failed their year this year, which is a good sign. I've noticed that people who travelled this year gave their years High Credits and Distinctions. Must do that myself some day.

Here's to an even better 2006 all round.


I'm between Wedding and Reception for my best friends Anna and Andrew, the most excellentest people I know. They matched each other up there at the front of the Chapel, and I don't just mean that one wore black and the other wore white. I mean that they look good together. They really are both terrific, and couldn't be more perfect for each other. I wish them both the best. And I hope they make it through the rest of the day. Yahoo tells me its a top of 33˚C today and the abc LIES and tells me 24˚C, and frankly, I'm not inclined to believe anyone who says it's less than 37... So yeah they would be hot. And I'm looking forward to the reception. Who doesn't love a reception?

My wife and I have been waiting for these two to get married since about a week after they started dating, and most of the time we keep forgetting they aren't. So I'm not sure how much will change... for us (I'm hoping things might be slightly different for them!)

So whoever you are reading this, charge a glass and join me in a cyber-toast to the coolest couple in the world, Anna and Andrew!


It seems that I'm the only one shocked that Google keeps putting up pages telling users (customers) that they have a virus. For those who don't know, some users (when making searches) are sent to a page that declares:
We're sorry... but we can't process your request right now. A computer virus or spyware application is sending us automated requests, and it appears that your computer or network has been infected.


I footnotes